Imagine you are working hard, getting frazzled because you have too much to do with not enough time to do it. Your family is home and is just letting you do your thing (being frazzled and worried) as they do their own thing. Is this right?
No. They are showing their lack of concern for you by their lack of action.
I have to admit, I struggle with this one in my household. Both my fellows will say "but if you want our help just ask"....And it seems to me uncaring that they don't volunteer... or they will do as very little as they can get away with. Drives me nuts.
Is that a character thing? I don't know. So I struggle with it. I can see their point. If I'm struggling I should "man up" and just ask for help cause honestly...how are they supposed to read my mind? They can't. They know I am fully capable of getting things done and sometimes I do so in a frazzled manner as just part of me living life. (and I'm sure many other folks do the same). Their point is valid then is it not? Shouldn't that frazzled mom say "HEY! Kids, I need some help in here, I can't manage it all. You Joey, sweep the floor. Amy, set the table. Jeff... get this dog out of my way!".
Step one: admit that you need the Lord to help you with your character as well. Seriously, we all have "stuff" that we mess up with.
Step two: don't be afraid to admit this to your children.
Step three: see lack of character for what it is... a lack of worship and connection to God. Romans 1 tells us that people make a choice to turn away from God. They want to be in control, doing what they want, believing a lie, but content within that. When people show a lack of character they are revealing who is most important in their lives AT THAT MOMENT.
Step Four: point out that idolatry of self. Point the way back to seeing God in his grace, God giving up his son for us, so that we can have a right relationship with him.
Step Five: see that just as God is molding you into his image, you can help your children see how they too need to be molded into the image of God.
Character Development. See God or see yourself? Be molded.
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Sometimes I'd like for the hubby or one of the kids to take the initiative and ask me how they could help, rather than me have to ask them to do something that should be obvious. (Hello - the trash bag is full, but no one else ever notices??? LOL)
ReplyDeleteI think our character is constantly developing, and we need to work on being more Christ-like no matter how old we are. And as parents, I agree that we need to be working at developing Christ-like character in our kids too. Sounds like a good book and study. :-)
Oh.. I totally get that Kym! :) Like when they walk past the laundry basket waiting to go upstairs... it's like HUH? :)
DeleteOh...that's just so true. My character needs working on all the time... I've been enjoying going through it slowly. :)
This was one that stepped on toes, for sure. I struggle with it, exactly as you stated. But, it was a good chapter for me because it forced me to be more intentional about pointing out moments when they do acknowledge and do something because it needs done. It also strive to share with them that this is a mark of a Christian - doing something before it is requested of them because it will be of service to someone else. But, I have also gotten better about asking, hard as that is for me.
ReplyDeleteOh... I like that. I will need to catch the lad at that.
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