Imperfect Disciple reminding me to stop and behold the Lord, to REALLY see him, and to keep walking forward in my faith even though I stumble and fall, but that God's great love for me holds me and comforts me and reminds me of whose I truly am (despite my frailties).
The parenting book is CONSTANTLY reminding of a truth I hold close. I am a fallen person. God has given me the job of raising a fallen person, to help him see his need for Christ and to turn out to be a man of Character for God.
These are truths I hold in my heart. They are right there lately every time I turn around.
And yet.
I have this other perspective of
I'M TIRED.
WHY does this lad have to push my buttons today?
WHY do I want to grump at the world?
WHY do I have to have a stubborn young rabbit, due to have babies any moment now, want to not use her nestbox?
WHY does my hubby have to struggle so to fix the truck when it should have been an easy fix!!!
All these whys work hard to crowd out what I know is my worth in Christ.
Why does that perspective of my worth change?
I feel so worthless. So beaten. So full of struggle to remember truths I hold in my heart.
But God has, so some strange reason, chosen to call me worthy in Christ?!
Why can't I just hold God's perspective of my worth before my face even in all my struggles?
My worth in God is set.
And yet my worth in my own eyes falters so.
It's perspective right? I don't have the answers, not today, today... today I just feel a tad weary.
My worth feels shattered.
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This is a five minute Friday post. the word prompt is brought to us by Miss Kate over at Five Minute Friday. What is Five Minute Friday? Well it's a party of a group of like
minded folks who gather on Friday to do a five minute free write around a
singular word. AND THEN (and this is the most important part) we take the time to offer up encouragement to
each other on this writing journey. It's fun, though it's not always
easy, but it is always good. Come join us won't you? You are always
welcome.----
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We will never know our true worth when measured by the world. It is a mystery as to why God chooses to place value on us but a mystery we thank him for. He has made you worthy. I pray that you will find your rest in him. You are priceless.
ReplyDeleteDebby, your kindness is appreciated. Thank you. :)
DeleteI agree, it can be hard to remember the truth of our worth in God. We know it in our head but circumstances can so easily wear us down and we struggle to feel it or really trust it in our hearts. Praying you know God's encouragement today.
ReplyDeleteIt's very hard some days, thank you
DeleteDear friend, I am praying that peace comes your way through the only One who can provide that overwhelming peace that quiets the heart and mind. Worth through His Son is the only value worth having and God has given it to you. Remember He promised us trials that we may rely more fully on Him and His ability to lift us out of this world. Love to you! - Lori
ReplyDelete:) thank you Lori ...today one learns to rely!
DeleteAwww, Annette. I so feel your struggle. Been there. Many a day. Thank you for your vulnerability. It reveals so much, even in me. On those days when I struggle in the mother, or the wifing, or the live well realm 9or all three at once!), it's easy to slip into feeling worthless. I guess it's in those times when we need to remember to set our minds on things above ON what God says about us, and on the grace He gives us, simply because we are worth so much to Him. I'm saying a prayer for you today.
ReplyDeleteThank you Jeanne, you are an encouragement
DeleteOh dear Annette, I've been there more times than I care to admit. I am so thankful for a Savior who loves me still. :) We sang Holy Is He last night at a church. I am always amazed when I stand in His presence that He would love me- but He does! Her are the lyrics, if you're not familiar with the song:
ReplyDeleteHoly is He and great is His glory
Holy is He and worthy of our praise
I stand in His presence amazed
And crown Him with worship and praise
Holy is He Holy is He Holy is He
I am not familiar with that one Carol, thank you for sharing it with me.
DeleteI appreciate your post, Annette, because I have similar times when I can't seem to get the "right" perspective. Thank you for sharing and being honest. Sometimes we just have to SAY it and let the feelings it brings sit with us for a while. They are part of the journey.
ReplyDeletesome days it's just hard, being tired doesn't help either. :)
DeleteI totally understand what you are feeling. Strangely, I was reading a bit more through The City of God (St. Augustine) with the kids this week and hit on a perspective that really helped me: Cicero argued that governments and by extension societies were only sustainable if they included some unjust action. Augustine took this argument and made the contrast to the justness of our relationship with God that is beyond the realm of society and government (that is what he calls the City of God). In a sense, the unjust aspects of society are the bits and parts that dampen your spirits. The broken truck, stubborn bunnies, and a child feeling his oats and probably also sensing your frustrations, are all really like the society that Cicero spoke of as unjust and unfair. But the City of God is the just and the fair part. That is the place where we find solace and comfort irrespective of life's troubles... Not sure if this made sense (often something makes sense only in my own head ;) ) but I hope it helps. :)
ReplyDeleteit does make sense. :) Thank you. It does. :)
Delete