That when I am hurt by my son, that it's an identity issue not a love issue.
Hmmm..
Tripp gave what I thought was a rather extreme example...so I felt this disconnect to be honest. I don't drive my lad to succeed.
So if your child hurts you by saying something insensitive... if we find our identity in Christ then what? It doesn't hurt??? AH... if you are immersed deeply in the love of God, if you are resting securely in the deep deep love he has for you, then the small hurts of this world don't matter so much.
Now that kinda makes sense eh?
What your children become doesn't define you.
What they do for a living, how they make life decisions, does not define you.
As Christian believing parents, what should define us is a deep relationship with the Lord God who saved us. The one who brings true meaning to our life.
So what are the warning signs that we are seeking our identity through our children?
1. Focus on success.
2. Focus on reputation.
3. A desire for control.
4. A Focus on what you DO what than who you ARE.
5. Making it personal when decisions or actions are taken counter to what you expected.
Hmm...that last one eh? At least for me.. makes me think. Need to change up some of my thinking, and see God more clearly before I react with too much sensitivity to my lad and my man. God calls me to be better than that!
Want to follow along?
Amazon.ca - Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family
Amazon.com - Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family
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This is definitely a "toe-stepping-on" chapter for me. Not because I push my children to success but because it is hard to not feel hurt when someone says something unkind. It is also so hard to realize that they are being unkind not because they don't like you but because they are hurting. There are some good things in this chapter, for certain.
ReplyDeletethis was a hard chapter to get into and then it suddenly made sense. Doesn't always stop the hurt and to be hurt helps children become more sensitive to what they say and do, but the hurt shouldn't last because of who we are in Christ.
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